I learned about 7 habits of highly effective lifestyle last year. These classes are like new language in your life. It’s not like you have passed through the class and you have become a master of these habits. It takes conscious efforts of everyday action and reflection to imbibe this habits and furthermore learning.
The year 2016-17 brought ‘Love’ class and it opened the doors to many more insights. Some agreeable, some doubtful. Yes! Overall they definitely have become part of my life but as earlier mentioned, it needs conscious efforts and reflection to imbibe these learning in our life.
Also, many of the ideology, you are already following in your life but such classes reinforce your correct path of thinking and turn the picture from translucent to transparent. One such case is about “Value of Suffering.” As per the book, The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck, we explored the understanding that “Pain must be felt (quote from my favourite book – Fault in our stars by John Green.” We have many problems in our life and that’s normal. It’s how you take your problems, that matters. My simple ideology was the more you resist something the more it becomes the burden. If something is on your way and you don’t really like it. It still matters to accept it, if you can’t change it. It’s easier said then done but then it’s not even impossible. Luckily, my life involved smaller pains (can’t even call them pains) like deadlines, tug of smilingly kicking wars with relatives, regular ‘dangals’ with hubby mine. There are times I would look at the matter deep. I would tell myself “This is how it is, Let go” and most issues would lighten. Relationships are rather strengthened because of acceptance of the differences which are mostly considered as problems or pain. I would say my daily life was definitely impacted by this conscious learning. Then, there is this legitimate pain. My only legitimate pain was when my father passed away and that was 28 years back. Man! I did not learn, then, about suffering and with years passing by it has become existing fact of our life. But really! Can any learning prepare you for life changing shocks and sorrows? Despite these sessions, I am not courageous for withdrawal of important people from my life. Sometimes I feel really burdened with the fear. I also understand this is “Sab Moh Maya Hai” But that’s all I can say!
I am in the eighth year of my marriage. There were times when I used to feel like I am on the road which is not going anywhere with my Amit. I used to feel like something is missing from our marriage. Oh my god! is it dying? my marriage? and with the law of attraction, our next session in love class was on marriage. I learned about 8 stages of marriage and more importantly, I learned about forgiveness which is part of the 7th stage of marriage. Asking for forgiveness and forgiving is so essential to even reduce the pain. I remember one essential thing that I asked, “Why is it important to let know a person? It’s you who has to think of forgiveness then why must other be involved?” I got the response, “to give away the baggage” and so true it is. As a human, especially the one tangled in “Sansaar’s moh maya” we would feel relieved when we have shared our feelings. I also understand my Amit through different light now. Of course, from my lens, I jump from one stage to the other now and then but it is helping me to sail my marriage with the enjoyment of moderate waves.
Next in line came parenting session. The session was more like a revision of workshop I attended based on the book “How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish” The sessions brought healthy debate and which in turn brought new learning. During the pain session, we also learned about delaying gratification. We keep saying delaying gratification is a key to success but how can it be done? Well! I got my answers here. I learned to discipline self and my child through this session. If Janya wants something. I would take a pause and tell him how about we have it after two days? or “I am going to get you the play clay that you so want, by my birthday.” As for me, I would say work hard now enjoy the fruits later. I am no saint either. So I do have my lapses but I surely am enjoying my little victories time and again.
I did not mention anything about love. Well! It’s still work in progress!
