“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
Though the above quote expresses a deep sense of love for a fellow human being, I can dedicate it to our compassionate facilitators Bhumika ma’am and Ritu ma’am. It’s not an exaggeration to say that they both have helped us to become a better human being and understand the true meaning of love. The list of learning is too long and the insights acquired during the nine sessions of love class were life changing and eye opening indeed. We all explored the emotions of love with so many dimensions and angles and tried to analyse this complicated emotion critically. As a team too, we all had a deep sense of respect and understanding for each other which was given due patronage by our facilitators.
I can still remember the roller coaster of emotions which we all expressed during these classes. We all laughed and cried together and shared our life and love stories together and the best part is that no one judged anyone. The outcome of these classes go beyond the theoretical aspect and deserve to be implemented in our real lives. The domain of the love class not only covered romantic love but also catered to other relations we share in our life including parental and marital. The icing on the cake was the forgiveness letter we wrote along with other interesting activities and the movie sessions.
In a nutshell, I can say that the objective achieved through these classes went way beyond my expectations and is a lifelong lesson. I also want to express my sincere gratitude towards my facilitators who mentored us with utmost dedication and enthusiasm and had no qualms to share their personal and real-life examples to make us understand the situation better.
પેહલા હું વિચારતો, કેમ લવ ક્લાસ! શું બધાને પ્રેમ કરતા નથી આવડતું? ખરેખર તોહ આપણે બધા આ ટોપિક પર એક્સપર્ટ છીએ! લવ કલાસિસના ૯ સેશન પછી સમજ્હ્યો કે લવ એ કોઈ ફીલિંગ નથી, પણ એક ક્રિયા છે. આ વાસ્તવિક ક્રિયાને હરહમેશ મનન અને ચિંતન કરવું જ પડે. ”
“Love is a free exercise choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other.”
– Scott Peck
“પ્રેમ એ સ્વીકૃત પસંદગી છે. બે વ્યક્તિઓ એકબીજાત્યારે જ પ્રેમને આપી શકે જયારે તે બંને એકબીજા વગર પણ જીવવા માટે સક્ષમ હોઈ પરંતુ તે બંને એ જોડે રહીને જીવવાનું પસંદ કર્યું હોઈ.”
– સ્કોટ પેક
તથ્યો જે સમજવા મળ્યા :
– રોમેન્ટિક લવ એક મિથ્યા છે! (સ્વીકારવું સહેલું નહોતું!)
– જ્યાં સુધી પોતાની જાતને પ્રેમ નહિ કરું , હું કોઈને પ્રેમ નહિ આપી શકું.
– ખાતર અને બિયારણની જેમ “પ્રેમ” બે સંબંધોને વધારે સૌમ્ય , કુશળ અને સમૃદ્ધ બનાવવો જોઈએ.
– માફીનામું હંમેશા આંતરિક અને નીરવ શાંતિ અર્પે છે. (અનુભવ્યું પણ)
– તમે તમારા બાળક ના અધિપતિ નથી, (બનવું પણ નહિ) બાળક તમારા દ્વારા આવ્યું છે. તમારા માટે નહિ!
મારા લવ ક્લાસ ગ્રુપનો ખુબ ખુબ આભાર એકબીજાના પ્રતિબિંબો એકબીજાની સમક્ષ ઉજાગર કરવા માટે. અમે જોડે હસ્યા, જોડે જ રડયા, ભૂતકાળને વાગોળ્યો, વર્તમાનને પંપાળ્યો. આ બધી ક્રિયાઓ વચ્ચે બે વ્યક્તિત્વોને અમને માધુર્યથી બાંધ્યા. હા, અમારા લવ કલાસિસને ખુબ સરળ અને અર્ધ્ય બનાવનાર ભૂમિકા પરમાર મેડમ તેમ જ રીતુ ચોપરા મેડમ નો હું ખુબ ખુબ આભારી છું. મારી શીખેલી વાતોને જિંદગીમાં અપનાવતા હંમેશા હું આપ બંનેને ચોક્કસ યાદ કરીશ.
I really thank you Bhumika ma’am and Ritu ma’am for making me understand the actual meaning of Love. As per my understanding love was just a lovy-dovy feeling, emotions, caring, etc. but after Love class, I have a change in my perspective.
Love is not just feeling but its an action, understanding, sacrifice, forgiving, caring, respect for every person.
I also learned that Love is not only about loving others but also about loving ourselves. Once we start loving ourselves we will feel happy and we will automatically shower love on others. Loving ourselves will also help us to maintain our relationships with family and friends.
It was a wonderful workshop which is going to help me a lot in many phases of my life. The best part of the workshop was a parenting topic which helped me a lot to manage my life with my baby and to make a strong bond with my child too. The great journey came to an end with lots of learning and things to take away with me. I thoroughly enjoyed all the sessions of Love class and made myself a changeable person. Thank you once again for it.
I would like to thank Ritu Chopra Ma’am and Bhumika Parmar ma’am to facilitate our group. It was easy for all of us to share things with ease as they made us feel comfortable.
Love class has brought a wonderful change in my life. It was a kind of eye opener for most of us. I enjoyed Parenting sessions a lot as could connect with it easily.
Some aha moments:-
1- You cannot love others if you don’t love yourself.
2- Love is to nurture your relationship.
3- It helps you grow.
4- You are not the owner of your child. He/She came through you, not for you.
5- Forgiveness brings peace.
I will surely implement these things in my life. It was indeed a memorable and fruitful journey!
” To love oneself is the beginning of life long romance ”
I am thankful to Ritu ma’am and Bhumika ma’am for letting me know the actual meaning of love.
A lesson learnt – power and ability to forgive. Most important thing for all of us is peace of mind . We always feel unhappy while remembering the undesirable moments and are therefore unable to live in the present. Therefore, we must let go of such experiences
A learning implemented – Writing the forgiveness letter. Thoughts that used to affect me and my peace , when dropped down to the paper gave ultimate feeling of relaxation.
kuch is tarah se zindgai ko asaan kar liya , kisi se maafi li to kisi ko maaf kar liya.
It feels like I am free with all the negativity that was beholding the state of my mind.
A future implementation – Meaning of love learnt will definitely be implemented in my near future , as it will surely help me to blossom my relations .
This was indeed a cherish-able year with so many beautiful learning! I would like to express my gratitude to my love class team for sharing the same joy.
– Khushboo Rathi
I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to Bhumika ma’am and Ritu ma’am for facilitating the love classes. Initially, my conception of love was confined to an emotion which exists between a male and a female; expressed through different actions such as giving presents or flowers, composing a song for your beloved or making fantasised commitments. However, after attending these classes, my understanding has broadened. Moreover, the environment was extremely conducive for sharing personal experiences without inhibitions, drawing from them and incorporating them in my life and also for sharing some light hearted moments.
A key takeaway for me from these sessions is the power and ability to forgive. Most of us hold on to memories which consume us throughout our lives in an undesirable way. We always feel unhappy while remembering such moments and are therefore unable to live in the present. Therefore, we must let go of such experiences and that has helped me grow as an individual. Writing the forgiveness letter helped me vent out my frustrations and pardon the people who I thought had been unfair to me.
I also want to thank my colleagues who lent their ears to my stories and guided me through their advice and solutions to overcome the situations and look forward for such interactions in the future.
I am thankful to Ritu ma’am and Bhumika ma’am for being great facilitators and good friends.
Muje pahele aese lagta tha ki love yaani ,ek coupal ke beatch jo hota hai wo …..
But After attended love class I learned Love is Care,Respect ,Responsibility ..etc
Love class mein se sabse accha mjue parenting love laga kynki jab parents bante hai tab ,jab bacche ke sath jo feeling ,and jo relation hota hai wo sabse best hota hai,and now i am enjoiyng may parenting love periods with my little shriya… I am so happpy….And i very enjoyed my love class with my group.
“Love is not a feeling, Love is an action. Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action.”
― The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
I would like to share one of my startled moments during the love class. The moment where I came across the above lines which gave me goosebumps in my mind. Never thought love could actually mean something so beyond than being selfless and sacrificing in nature, on the contrary, according to Peck, love is what ensures spiritual growth of our own self and our partner, antithetical to what is mentioned in literature and movies which I knew is sugary but couldn’t fathom what else could it be and then finally the above statement made all the sense to me in this world!
The word cathexis was originated by Sigmund Freud. It’s defined as the investment of emotional energy into an object or a person, often to an extent that’s unhealthy. Think of it like a romantic obsession or overdose of sexual desire. Peck says cathexis happens when we intently focus on the “falling in love” aspect of a relationship that often happens early on. As a consequence, our love might burn with a bright flame, but soon fizzle into sparks before extinguishing altogether. To prevent this, he suggests we think of love as an action, not a feeling. If our love is genuine, it won’t require lots of feelings at all, since it’s much bigger than cathexis. I couldn’t agree more with him on this.
Thank You Vardan Sir and Ankita Ma’am for introducing us to love classes and this book. And perhaps, writing this post makes me realize yet another cherish-able year came to an end with so many beautiful learnings! I would like to express my gratitude to my love class team for sharing the same joy, for being so open-minded and not judging anyone for that matter, for carrying all the trust and love and for being so supportive. It was a pleasure to be a part of this batch. I cannot thank enough to my facilitators – Bhumika Ma’am and Ritu Ma’am for bringing in life to our classes, to share the bond no less, for being the lighthouse of our effervescent journey and for the scrumptious chocolate cake! 🙂