Category: Love Class

Love class- Sharing helps…..

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I wonder sometimes, am I doing it right? It may be parenting or relationships or work. There comes a time because of some minor ups and down where we question our paradigms and actions. Love/Life class has always that impact on us (whether we agree or not), may be even temporary one but where we go back and introspect on our life and relationships and how we can change them.

As a love class facilitator, I got an opportunity to revisit the things which we learnt earlier (for me it was 3 years back) the ones we forget or ignore in our busy schedule. Every time when you read something or discuss with other facilitators while preparing for the class, you learn and understand something new.

When participants share their experience, you learn, connect it with your life experience and then reflect upon it. You again go back from a silent mode to an active mode. I recall giving my daughters a tight hug and saying I love you after the recent love workshop without any reason. That felt good and maybe that memory will always stay with me.

We do hear participants saying that these workshops are a waste of time. But from my personal experience, whether it is parenting or relationships it has definitely brought a positive change in my life. Earlier when I had a fight with my husband, usually it was followed by a cold war- (no talking for days) which was very frustrating. One thing I learnt after the workshop and now try and implement is, communication (of course I am still working on it). Talk and solve the issue instead of dragging it for days without any reason, which would eventually sour your relation.  

Of course, there are things which I still need to work upon, especially as a parent when we take that illegitimate suffering and anxiety.

I have attended all 3 classes (love, life and integrity)  and have seen life changing after the workshops. Sharing which normally does not happen in our so called happy life (koi problem hi nai hai) is done during the workshops and has made a difference in the lives of the participants too. It makes you feel good and you don’t feel guilty about it, as once we start sharing, we come to know that everyone is same and has same set of problems.

Thanks to Hasina ma’am and all my participants for sharing their experiences with us and hope that they witness the positive change in life using these amazing tools.

Falguni

Forgiveness….A small word with a deep meaning

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I never knew what actually ‘Forgiveness’ meant till I attended the last session of Love class. I always thought of forgiveness as an obligation for the opposite person who commits the sin. For me, it was always an action or process of forgiving someone or being forgiven. After reading few articles and watching videos, I realized that forgiveness helps us more than the person whom we are forgiving. It helps us to overcome the pain and start afresh. This was a WOW learning for me (though I took time to understand and accept this fact). It is rightly said by Mark Twain, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the rose sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

Thank you Nayna ma’am and Anita ma’am for sharing this with us!!

 

Way to learn is to teach: Love classes 2016-17

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In our school we have this practice of taking reflection from students after a major task, we all know the purpose of it, to know their understanding!!!

But when we ask the adults (us) to reflect on their learning or any take-aways (from life classes), there is always a pause. And then, after a push, some of us start hunting down all those thoughts, related to the topic, which runs everywhere except in our mind and brain.

Well, for a change, I am not feeling that way!!! Yup, you read it right. And, no, I have not lost it. I really want to pen down my thoughts. And not about anything else but my experience as a facilitator of love classes. You must be wondering…… what was Mariyam ma’am thinking and what was I thinking???

But honestly, I want to thank her from the bottom of my heart for giving this opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life (hope so) for better.This year was really a great year for me. Everything was new, I took a leap in my profession (as you all know) and along with that I was GIVEN the task to facilitate the love classes. In this dive, I was not alone, I had Nayna ma’am with me. We both had a good rapport and we complimented each other so well that most of the sessions were a great learning experience for me.

During each classes, while explaining the topics like: life, pain, love, problems, suffering, marriage, parenting; I revisited all my life’s instances and I reflected whether I had followed any of these principles as I was preaching. And the truth was NO. Not all.  And that was a reality check. Because when you are learning something new, it’s very exciting and we make lot of commitments to ourselves to follow, but as time passes in our busy schedules we forget all these learnings, at least few, if not all.

And that’s where my courageous self comes into picture. I grabbed this opportunity to LIVE my commitments. I not only shared my experiences but also accepted my mistakes and along with the participants wrote the forgiveness letter which was pending for a long time. I finally got around to writing a forgiveness letter to my family members for an incident that had been hurting me for 11 years! Believe me, it was hell of a difficult task. But because I wanted to be the person who is “ Do as I do” and not as “Do as I say” I did it. And it was worth it.

Many times we feel that these classes are just waste of time and energy. But frankly speaking, it’s not. I think we feel this way because we lack courage. And its ok. But “ek try toh bunta hae, boss!!!” Because no gain without any pain!!!

Anita.

 

LOVE CLASS 2015 – 2016 REFLECTED…!

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Wow! Where do I start..? I would like to begin with a hearty “THANK YOU” to my beloved FS for probably saving marriage from gradual destruction..!! I can honestly say that I experienced 90% of what we had discussed throughout the duration of this “LOVE CLASS”….!

My personality and attitude towards marriage, fatherhood and being a good husband has evolved…i hope i am a better man to say the least..!! In fact, I am feeling guilt of not writing the whole truth here, but will still con tribute a fewbits and pices of this life changing experience….!
First off, the 2015 – 2016 academic year started well with my PE / PS TEAM-MATES….We got off to a flying start with school games and PE sctivities…! And then all of a sudden….. “LOVE CLASS” happened…We thought “love”, “sex” and “making love” and “woman explained” will be the topics of the day…But boy, were we dissapointed…? Instead we were handed a first class experience of what mutual love and understanding is all about, forgiveness and learning to be true to your partner and most of all, we got to experience it, rather then learn it, we’ll I did anyway….!!

I see my darling wife differently now, in a more positive light( She always was this way, but it just took me a few years to figure it out, but better later then never) In fact, she has also admitted that I have changed and become a better lover, husband and father, not in this order, but you know what I mean…! Hearing these sweet words from her has boosted my confidence as a man. I am more efficient in my work, even though others will say otherwise, I am learning fatherhood always, I am more in touch with my wife’s feelings and moods then before and it has given us a new lease of life, if you like…i don’t think anything was wrong, but I feel it was not right, until LOVE CLASS came into our lives…so much has been the impact of this class in my life….also I would like to take this opportunity to highlight my participation in these sort of rehabilitative classes. Ask the others and they will vouch for me as I was an avid contributor to most of the topics discussed, the setting provided me an opportunity to express my inner feelings towards life in general and this is where the greatest impact was for me….we all realized that our situations are very different and we all have stages of life that we go through at various periods in our existence on God’s grear creation…!!! I am enquiring always….and want to be a better husband, father and coach to the best of my abilities. This class has benefitted my family greatly…THANK YOU MY dearest FS…!
Sincerely,

Kalpesh Patel

P.S I still have a few things to share, but do not have the courage or confidence to pen them at this moment, as they are intimate and mesmerizing, but I do know I am stronger for it and still learning daily of what the great force of LOVE is. …!

“I LOVE YOU MY SWEETHEART, ALWAYS AND FOREVER, TILL DEATH DO US PART..!”

 

FS PRIDE..!

 

Forgiving is an art and an act!

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Hello all,

This is my 3rd blog- feeling happy:)

In this blog I am sharing my understanding and experience about Forgiving- it is divided into 2 segments- Forgive and Forget or Forget and Forgive!

Well, as said life is a series of problems and life is difficult, each individual come across situation which is painful, mixed emotions, not acceptable, etc.- the list goes on and varies from individual to individual.

In my life, I never actually understood the true essence of “Forgiving”. It’s for an instance if someone says “Sorry” to me my anger vanishes and inner feeling comes which is actually satisfying ego and making me feel good for the moment. Actually, it is not forgiving but the beginning step of judging the person and building paradigms- the root cause. According to the Life classes (and I too believe) learning internally being sorry/ apologize requires willpower, empathy, and courage to do it.

Forgiving is interconnected with Change- appreciating the change a person has undergone (for good), being empathetic (boundaries are always there), helping the person to grow, not to impose my perspective but analyzing the situation and giving feedback/ suggestion, clarifying expectations, and the art of listening.

Forgive and Forget OR Forget and Forgive- Well, after undergoing change which is a decision the mind becomes calm as acceptance is there. So forgiving the person will heal the pain and to forget whatever act has happened is a step towards mental peace.

Now what will happen? Well, as said I had first applied the principle of Forgive and Forget and then gradually through deeper understanding moved towards Forget and Forgive which has transformed my way of approach/ understanding towards life- it is a very difficult step. So, it is a choice which is made by an individual.

Problems are big, small, painful, depressing- but the solution is I. If ‘I’ is firm then the intensity of the problem will surely diminish/resolved.

“The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next”– Mignon McLaughlin

Thank you!

“Mi Viaje”

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My Journey

A walk through “Life classes”,

Ohh!! I remember the 7 habits.. 🙂

Learning the “Independence” through first 3,

And “Interdependence” through rest 3

Last but not the least was “Sharpen the saw”,

Which helps you to become ripe and polished from raw.

It was all about being courageous to say “No”,

Just say it! without regrets and don’t feel low.

The sessions of “Love” were indeed helpful for me,

Forgiving and asking for the same set me free.

I learnt about “Legitimate” and “Illegitimate” pain,

“Gratification” a feeling of internal happiness, to gain.

The stages of marriage and the definition of love,

I learnt to be committed and pure in my relations like a dove.

Integrity taught me “Be truthful to yourself”.

Death Exercise- “Death is a best teacher” by Stephen Covey.

Death Exercise

I have learnt from life classes- “Believe in yourself”. As rightly said- When the world says ‘give up’, hope whispers ‘try one more time’. (Anonymous)

Live in “Present”.

Present

This was all about my journey as a learner which is still an ongoing process.

As a co-facilitator I would like to sum up with one line that is “The best way to learn is to teach”. The insights given by the enthusiastic participants of our group is helping me to learn as well as helping them to learn from the examples shared by the facilitator.

I am grateful to Iyer Sir and Vardan sir for giving me this opportunity to co-facilitate the workshop.

I am also thankful to Sheeba ma’am, Parag bhai, Ankita ma’am, Zahabiyah ma’am and Iyer sir for being my mentors throughout my journey of life classes.

Written by,

Disha Thakkar.

Theory and Practice..

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We often talk about a lot of what we have learnt in our life-love classes. We often know the theoretical aspects of what these classes teach us. Most of us do know that if we set ourselves a smart goal, progress could be inevitable. Well, we sometimes just feel lazy to do it. We will cross the bridge when we are there. Why worry about it now and break our heads? Don’t we have other better things to do than setting goals for ourselves? Why waste time with this? This is where life/ love classes could be helpful. This is where we ought to learn to put theory into practice. Extending the same situation, we should realise that goals are not about wasting but saving time. How is what we learn in these classes. Reflection, introspection are key terms that the classes stand for as far as I am concerned.
One question that I have been unable to completely resolve lingers. Are we imposing Western values in a our culture which is quite different? Or do we modify these values to our context? For instance, if I were to write a letter of forgiveness to my mother-in-law, do I give it to her? Will it be accepted in a rigidly conservative family? Or would it just end in a family skirmish? Or, I just stop thinking about the consequences, feel the fear and do it anyway? How significant will the impact be on the stakeholders?

My learning journey!

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I’m sure that each of us, who has been a part of the life classes @ FS; must have seen some or the other transformations. Be it in their behaviour, mindset, personal or professional life , there’s something which has happened for good. Since years I’ve always believed in the power of positive thinking. Yet there were times when I used to feel helpless and quite low. The 7 habits classes helped me in identifying my circle of concerns and that of influence. It helped me to set my personal mission statement which indeed is work in progress still. But I’m glad to atleast consciously work upon that. The love classes worked like a wonder in my personal as well as professional life. More of acceptance and less of expectations keeps me calm and at peace with myself. The principles learnt in these classes are the key to live a meaningful and a content life. The sharing during the classes makes you think, you can make some connections with your personal life too. At times it gets difficult to accept that such things can really happen with someone. The courage that is shown by the participants is commendable. To be very honest, many of the times I’ve thanked god for blessing me with a less difficult life!!! But yes we know life is difficult, but the acceptance and the learning prepares you to deal with life; with courage, hope and believe.

And now is the time to be principled and work on those weakest points in me. That’s what integrity is all about! Though few simple things seem quite difficult as if I’ve no control on that. But having known that, I don’t give up. Because I ‘m responsible for my life and I ‘ve the ability to respond to the circumstances. I look forward to see yet more positive transformations in my as well as my colleagues’ life. I’m really grateful to god for giving me this wonderful opportunity which we all know as Fountainhead School !! It’s great to be a part of FS .Today I also take this opportunity to thank all my friends, facilitators and co-facilitators for guiding me through this learning journey.

Integrity classes – A challenge worth taking

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Being a part of the life classes for all these years and especially attending Integrity for the past three years has made me more patient, a better listener, non-judgmental, empathetic and above all resilient.

 

This platform brings out the diversity as well as the core commonalities of individuals. We are all vulnerable, have our own fears, miseries, insecurities, complaints etc; which are manifested in different ways. But when you have a closer look we are all sailing in the same boat.

 

It’s not about how life treats us or what life gives us. It’s about what we want to make out of our own lives. This is a dais which brings us closer to reality, learn from each other, open up our lives to each other. There is a fear of being ridiculed, being judged, but in reality we all emerge as stronger individuals. Every participant gets to see his or her own life from a variety of perspectives.

 

There is always this apprehension that as a group; we may end up advising or misleading someone. But with the best intentions, we can surely avoid the worst. I read this somewhere – “It is more important to be of pure intention than of perfect action.” And this is what keeps us going.

 

Accepting that life is difficult but taking up the challenge with open hands opens makes life beautiful and worth living.

 

Life is difficult…

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After attending the life classes, the most prominent change which I find in me is “The way I look at things now”. Initially, when I attended the life classes the only question in my mind was “How will the sharing done by others help me??”. Gradually, I started listening to others’ problems and how creatively they find the solutions for the same which made me more empathetic. Later, I realized that everyone has to face some or the other challenge in their life but the intensity and the way we respond to it varies. The principle “Bring life to the workshop and workshop to the life” worked miracles for me. I became more observant and even had many paradigm shifts. I have learnt to leave illegitimate pains which made my life easier and took a closer look at the legitimate ones with the thought “Those things that hurt, instruct”.

I am on the path to be self-disciplined by teaching myself to do the unnatural and transform my very own nature. It is extremely difficult, but life classes have taught me not to give up. I thank Zahabiah and Falguni ma’am for being my life class facilitators. Thank you Vardan sir for believing in me and developing the ‘YOU CAN’ attitude in me. I truly appreciate and value everything I have learnt from you.

I want to express my deepest gratitude to Parag bhai. You have been an excellent friend, teacher, mentor and a great inspiration for me. A true master !!

To conclude, I would say that life classes have a lot of things to teach and they are truly worth taking back to your life.

Life is difficult but NOT ALWAYS…!

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