Are you scared??? Me too and so are others……

When I heard that we are going to have personal development classes, I was as much in favour of it as I would be about running barefoot on a bed of nails!! But then when I started to attend, what we call ‘Life classes’ and came to know about things like paradigms, conditioning, death exercise, legitimate and illegitimate, principles of love; I actually started understanding what my life was all about, I started questioning what I was doing with my life, where I was leading it and how it  affected others?

Thanks to all the facilitators for all the efforts and sharing; it has helped me upgrade myself as a human being and given me the strength and confidence to actually take control of “My Life”.

Learning these principles in a group led by someone was my comfort zone because I didn’t have to prepare anything; I didn’t have to practice anything because I was not preaching:):)

But this year when it came to a choice between being part of a group session or leading it, I was lost. Ultimately I had to bell the cat in me and I went ahead with “Feel the fear and do it anyways”.

It started off on a very sincere note of reading the chapters and discussing, copying the strategies of the facilitators to question the person on the hot seat and suggesting ways to solve their issues. But when my turn came I was zapped!!! The brutal (possible) reality was placed in front of me which I had to face, with a group of intellectuals to witness it, no less! And when I did, I felt as if I had lost everything; there was nothing left inside me. Because these fears and fights were “my” deep secrets which i didn’t want the world (i.e. group of 9 people) to know. In short, I didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of others. Yes people, I didn’t want to be a VULNERABLE, weak, hopeless, helpless, stupid, silly person. But when I saw that my group was the same as they were before I shared, I understood that it’s ok to open up, it’s ok to cry and feel helpless, it’s ok to FAIL, to LOSE a BATTLE, to FALL to be SILLY and STUPID. Because we are HUMANS.

Now I ask myself – ‘How bad can things get? How much worse can my situation be? to what extent can people test me? Bring it on…! I am ready; I can handle it!’

And I will handle it because I am POWERFUL and “I” CONTROL MY LIFE!!!

ANITA.