Reflection

“Bhagwad Gita” as Guruji rightly mentioned, is a goldmine for human psychology. I am quite uncertain about how I perceived this spiritual book, when I started reading it for the first time. All I knew, or as informed by elders was that reading Bhagwad Gita, will help one calm down the stress. At the same time, one may experience connecting the soul with the GOD. It is all about reading the words of Lord Krishna and the gyan that he had given to Arjuna during the war. Well, but I guess watching Mahabharta on screen remained a much easier alternative to what I heard from my elders and people around.

Anyways, before I could actually make a sense of their sharing and wisdom, I completed reading this holy book entirely on my own and created a map of my limited knowledge about human life. I always tried experimenting with my own thoughts and ideas, but never tried looking for its disconfirming evidences. Gita Class, provided an opportunity to actually verify my beliefs and the stories shared by guruji actually guided me to validate my understanding about the various facts relating to human behavior.

Learning about ‘self-growth / emotional maturity’ struck me the most, and also a buzz word,’ what I think about myself’- ‘self esteem.’ During the session, I could make a lot of connections and could retrospect various situations when my happiness and peace was dependent on someone else’s action/words. However, I do not claim to work on this area completely, but certainly have made an attempt to strike a balance between my expectations and reality. I have realized that ‘acceptance’ is  the greatest gift that I can give to myself; and need to certainly eliminate over-expression of my thoughts during my anger outbursts. I would quote here the words by Guruji, “I am not going to victimize anyone because of my anger or my unfulfilled desires.” Instead, will compose myself, gather my thoughts, and then decide to express or not in a given situation. Further, in order to have a good self esteem, I need to be successful in my own eyes.

Guruji said, everything you feel need not be said, if it is unpleasant for the others. Yes, I evaluated on the interaction I had with people around in the past and now ought to believe in this statement. Up till now, I always used to feel good after sharing my feelings and views about others, openly and comfortably to them (however, in the most decent manner). But, in that course, I also experienced some inconvenience and difficulty in helping the person believe about my good intentions. Unfortunately, most of the times, things did not turn out the way it should be and  therefore, I would have a hard time rectifying the situation and would repent on why did I say to what I said.  But now, it seems, I need to work on this area too. And I would happily do that 🙂

I still cannot think much of ‘being atheist’ or ‘the existence of god’ or ‘paap and punya’ or ‘Karma’ but certainly can talk out of my limited experience and efforts; that I make to unclutter my mind and trust that I have for myself. I admit, I need to continue to work on not piling the emotions instead change the lens through which I examine things. There is a lot of work to be done, but as said, its all work in progress. Ultimately, what matters the most is the attitude with which we look at the things and the results. Bhagwad Gita, the blueprint to lead a life with clarity, will surely aid me in the process of continuous self growth and in experiencing the wholeness with myself.