God, Religion and Me – the holy trinity or the baloney proximity?
I was ‘trained’ to be a believer – not necessarily a monotheist, but a believer nevertheless. I married into a family of believers as well. So whenever I found myself questioning these beliefs I lacked the mental space to do so. FS provided that space, and how!
And now, I am scared; terribly scared that there may not be a God. The emptiness that accompanies this fear is all-consuming at times. If there is no God, who is responsible for placing me here and giving me all that I have (or worse, keeping from me all that I don’t, perhaps)?
With regards religious beliefs, I have felt for the longest of time that these are may be ‘well-thought out’ ideologies in the context in which they were made. But the arbitrary manner in which we follow some of them, unquestioningly, is something that we need to re-think.
Right now I feel like I am in pendulum zone – swinging between faith and disbelief; the intersections are confusing and the poles seem to be maniacal obsessions with opposing conspiracy theories; the crisis either way is pressing.
Agree. I felt the same after 1 month of the class when I was all alone and rethinking on it. To add, I started asking questions to people who met me personally or online about God and got different answers. At the end, I have decided that it will take time but I will try exploring and reading the holy books and understanding it’s essence. This is my long term goal.
I like that you are looking at disconfirming pieces of evidence Bhargavi. Please share your take from all that you read, when you have time. Or better yet, share the reading material so that I can form my own perceptions.
As a child I too was trained, more like bullied into “believing”, the more the pressure mounted, the more rebellious I became. Rituals are something I reject outright, God exists, maybe S/He is the anchor that keeps us all grounded. But one thing is clear, accepting religious sermons or teachings at face value is not possible now. Everything needs to be questioned and answers will only be found if thought about logically with a clear mind and the time when answers will be found will be the true moment of a miracle, as Bhargavi said in her post!
I was ‘trained’ to be a believer – not necessarily a monotheist, but a believer nevertheless. I married into a family of believers as well. So whenever I found myself questioning these beliefs I lacked the mental space to do so. FS provided that space, and how!
I can truly connect with this. I am also married in a family where all of them(except me and Minil) believe in all varied GODs. So many rituals for each and every good and bad cause happening in the family. its been 4 years I always positively argue with my father-in-law about existence of God but ultimately as you said, “whenever I found myself questioning these beliefs I lacked the mental space to do so.” But I still keep on questioning him to have such critical conversations between us.
It’s great that you do that Krishna. That I guess is the essence of our classes. If nothing else, we have at least begun thinking and question the given order, rather than accepting the status quo. So even if the questioning brings us back to stage 1, that is okay. The more important thing for us to do is ask for a reason, I guess, and not believe blindly.
I can identify with your analogy of the pendulum zone—I am in one myself and Oh God!! (pun intended;)–how crazily am I oscillating–one day it is No God…I will believe in myself and be responsible for my life–and the very next day–somehow something goes wrong during the first day and I am back to—Please Mariyam–stop this nonsense—your ancestors were not wrong–there is a God and you dare not get into any panga with the Almighty–so yes…to and fro–to and fro–that’s life for me now—actually thinking about it now–I am enjoying the swinging—I always loved to swing:)
🙂 This swing is a little scary though… it’s more like those Columbus Ship rides you take in amusement parks…there is such a churning in the stomach as leaves you queasy.