The Mask I Wear, and the Me Behind It
Two days of Life Class on Emotional Intelligence and People Management just ended, and I am still thinking about it. Not because of big theories, but because of a few simple activities that made me look at myself honestly.
The mask activity
This was my favourite part of the whole workshop.
We were given a mask. On the front side, we had to write the things people already see in us. I wrote words like angry, not serious, open minded. These are the labels people give me from outside, based on how I behave in front of them.
On the inside of the mask, we had to write the things people do not know about me. That part was harder. It made me sit quietly and think about which parts of me I keep hidden, and why.
The best moment came when I wrote down something about myself that most people around me have never noticed. Writing it down felt strange. I had never put it in words before. That is when I understood the point of the activity: we all show one face and carry another one behind it, and most of the confusion between people happens in that gap.
Naming my emotions
In another activity we had to slow down and actually name what we were feeling instead of just reacting. Sounds easy. It is not. Most days I feel something and jump straight to action, and only later think about what it was.
Once I started naming the feeling, the feeling had less control over me. That is a small trick I want to keep using.
Journaling — four lines that stayed with me
At the end we did a short journaling exercise. Just four lines to complete:
- My emotions create…
- My team experiences me as…
- One emotional behaviour I will change…
- One management behaviour I will start…
Line two was the uncomfortable one. It is easy to say what I want my team to see. It is much harder to guess what they actually see.
My honest answers:
- One emotional behaviour I will change: reacting quickly. I want to pause first, then reply calmly.
- One management behaviour I will start: setting clear priorities and telling people about them properly, not assuming they already know.
Giving feedback the SBI way
We also learned the SBI model for feedback — talk about the Situation, the Behaviour, and the Impact. No character judgement, no “you always do this”.
This one is going straight into my daily routine. Saying “in yesterday’s meeting, you interrupted twice, and the other person stopped sharing” is useful. Saying “you are rude” only starts a fight. Same message, very different result.
Thank you to our facilitators
Puja Ma’am and Hardik Sir made these two days easy to sit through and hard to forget. They kept the room light, gave everyone space to speak, and turned every idea into something we could actually try the next morning. Thank you both.
What I am taking home
Nothing dramatic. Just this: before I manage anyone else, I have to manage my own reaction. Notice the feeling, name it, pause, then speak.
The mask will always be there. But now I know what is written on both sides of mine — and that is a good place to start.