This session helped me understand that our actions, responses, and relationships are deeply connected to our awareness of self and others. Concepts like the marshmallow experiment made me reflect on patience and delayed gratification—not just in students, but in myself. It reminded me that meaningful outcomes often require us to pause and wait rather than react instantly.

The Johari Window pushed me to think beyond what I already know about myself. It highlighted that there are parts of me that others can see but I may not be aware of. This made me realise the importance of feedback and openness in both personal and professional growth.

I realised that I don’t always pause. In many situations, especially in a fast-paced classroom, I tend to respond quickly. The idea of “pause, respond, reflect” made me question my own practice. Am I reacting out of habit, or am I responding with intention?

The concept of amygdala hijack particularly stood out to me. It gave me language to describe moments when emotions take over and responses become impulsive. I could relate to situations where I may have reacted quickly instead of thoughtfully. This awareness made me reflect on how I can better regulate my responses.

One of the strongest takeaways for me was the idea of psychological safety. I began to think about my classroom environment—not just as a place for learning, but as a space where students feel safe to express themselves, make mistakes, and take risks. I realised that learning cannot truly happen unless students feel emotionally secure.

The idea of leadership response also made me reflect on my role as a teacher. Leadership is not just about instruction; it is about how I respond in challenging moments. My reactions set the tone for the classroom, and I have the responsibility to model calm, thoughtful, and respectful behaviour.

Going forward, I want to consciously practice pausing before responding. Even a small pause can help me move from an emotional reaction to a thoughtful response.I also want to be more open to feedback, to reduce my blind spots as highlighted in the Johari Window.

Creating psychological safety in my classroom will be a priority, ensuring that every student feels heard and valued.Most importantly, I want to build awareness—of my thoughts, my emotions, and my responses. Because I now understand that awareness is the first step towards meaningful change.

This session did not just introduce new concepts; it shifted my perspective. It reminded me that effective teaching is not only about strategies and content, but also about self-awareness, emotional regulation, and the environment we create for our learners.

Days 1 and 2 of Life Class were engaging and insightful, helping us understand our emotions, reactions, and behaviour. One of the most interesting topics was amygdala hijack, which explained why we sometimes react emotionally without thinking. We also explored impulse control and learned the importance of taking a pause before responding. The RAIN technique helped us understand how to recognise, allow, investigate, and nurture our emotions. We learned that pausing gives us time to understand our feelings and choose a better response. These concepts encouraged us to reflect on our reactions and focus on personal growth.

Another key learning was about the qualities of a good leader and what makes leadership effective. We discussed the importance of communication, empathy, listening, motivation, responsibility, and understanding others. The SBI feedback method taught us how to give feedback by focusing on the Situation, Behaviour, and Impact. This helped us understand how feedback can be specific, constructive, and meaningful. We also explored the idea of “pause, understand and grow”, which can help us become more self-aware and thoughtful in our interactions. These learnings showed us that good leadership begins with understanding ourselves and then supporting others.

The activities made the learning more practical and enjoyable. The role plays showed us how people often react immediately without taking a pause and how the outcome can change when we respond thoughtfully. The tower-building game was another fun activity that demonstrated the importance of teamwork and leadership. Leaders had to guide, motivate, and encourage their team members to build the tower successfully. It showed us that a good leader does not simply give instructions but inspires and supports the team. Overall, the two days were a valuable experience that combined learning, reflection, teamwork, and fun.

#EI + People Management

The Leader in the Mirror: Why Emotional Intelligence Beats IQ in the Classroom and Boardroom

Walk into any staffroom, any office, any team huddle — and you’ll find two kinds of leaders. One reacts. The other responds. The difference between them isn’t intelligence, experience, or even confidence. It’s emotional intelligence (EQ) — the quiet skill of understanding yourself and reading the room before you open your mouth.

Here are four powerful, research-backed tools that separate reactive managers from genuinely effective leaders.

---

1. The Amygdala Hijack: When Your Brain Betrays You

Ever snapped at someone and regretted it thirty seconds later? That’s an amygdala hijack — a term coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman to describe the moment your brain’s emotional alarm system (the amygdala) overrides your rational thinking (the prefrontal cortex).

In a hijack, your body reacts before your mind consents: heart races, jaw clenches, words fly out unfiltered. It’s built for survival — great for escaping tigers, terrible for handling a tense email or a student talking back in class.

Leadership takeaway: The best leaders don’t suppress this response — they recognize it in real time. The classic fix is the 6-second pause: emotional surges typically dissolve within six seconds if you don’t feed them with more reactive thoughts. Breathe, name the emotion silently (“I’m feeling attacked”), and only then respond. That six-second gap is where leadership actually lives.

---

2. The Johari Window: Shrinking Your Blind Spot

Popularized by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, the Johari Window splits self-awareness into four quadrants:

• Open Area — what you know about yourself and others know too
• Blind Spot — what others see in you that you don’t see yourself
• Hidden Area — what you know but keep private
• Unknown Area — what neither you nor others have discovered yet

Most leadership failure lives in the Blind Spot. You think you’re being “direct”; your team experiences you as “dismissive.” You think you’re “hands-off”; your team feels “abandoned.”

Leadership takeaway: Great leaders actively shrink their blind spot by inviting feedback rather than waiting for it. Asking a trusted colleague, “What’s something about how I lead that I might not see?” is uncomfortable — and one of the most powerful growth habits available.

---

3. SBI Feedback: Feedback Without the Sting

Once you’re gathering feedback (or giving it), how you deliver it matters as much as what you say. The SBI model — Situation, Behavior, Impact — developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, keeps feedback factual instead of accusatory.

• Situation: “In yesterday’s staff meeting…”
• Behavior: “…when you interrupted Priya twice while she was presenting her plan…”
• Impact: “…it seemed to shut down the conversation, and two other people didn’t share their ideas afterward.”

Notice what’s missing: no “you always,” no character judgments, no mind-reading. Just what happened, what was observed, and what it caused.

Leadership takeaway: SBI turns feedback from a personal attack into a shared observation. It’s specific enough to act on and neutral enough that people can actually hear it — instead of getting defensive and triggering their own amygdala hijack.

---

4. The RAIN Method: Sitting With Difficult Emotions

Borrowed from mindfulness practice (popularized by teacher Tara Brach), RAIN is a four-step method for processing strong emotions instead of being ruled by them:

• R — Recognize what’s happening (“I’m feeling frustrated right now”)
• A — Allow the emotion to exist without judging it or pushing it away
• I — Investigate with curiosity (“Where do I feel this in my body? What triggered it?”)
• N — Nurture/Non-identification — offer yourself compassion, and remember you are not the emotion; you’re just experiencing it

Leadership takeaway: RAIN is what you practice before you’re in crisis, so that when a hijack hits, you already have a map back to calm. Leaders who regularly use RAIN don’t just manage their emotions better — they model emotional maturity for everyone watching them, which, in any classroom or team, is everyone.

---

Bringing It Together

These four tools work like a cycle:

RAIN helps you process emotion internally → this prevents the Amygdala Hijack from hijacking your behavior → a calmer mind lets you use the Johari Window to seek honest feedback about your blind spots → and SBI gives you (and others) a clean, non-triggering language to actually deliver that feedback.

Emotional intelligence isn’t a soft skill bolted onto leadership — it is leadership. The tiger in the room is rarely the actual crisis; it’s usually our own unmanaged reaction to it. Master these four tools, and you won’t just lead teams or classrooms more effectively — you’ll lead yourself first.