Learning to Accept the past

I chose Book Club as a Life class option this year because I wanted to slow down, read beyond my usual choices, and give myself space to reflect. It felt like a simple way to reconnect with books, ideas, and different perspectives. Our Life class has made me reflect on something very simple, yet quite difficult: we cannot go back and change the past.

While reading Before the Coffee Gets Cold (a Japanese novel) and watching movies “The Lake House” and “Remarkably Bright Creatures“, I noticed a common thread. All three stories explore our desire to hold on to people, moments and possibilities that may no longer be within our control.

Before the Coffee Gets Cold gives its characters a chance to revisit the past, but they cannot change what has already happened. The Lake House shows how two people can be connected across time, yet still have to accept the reality of their circumstances. And in Remarkably Bright Creatures, Marcellus the octopus becomes a quiet reminder of memory, relationships and the passage of time. It made me think about how often we say, “If only I could go back and change things…” But perhaps going back is not really what we need. Maybe what we need is to understand what happened, accept what cannot be changed, and carry the learning forward. The past can teach us, but it cannot become our present.

We may not get another chance to change yesterday, but we always have a chance to respond differently today. And perhaps that is the real lesson , not to live wishing for another past, but to make peace with the one we have and be more present in the life we still have ahead. Our facilitator used thoughtful questions to help us seamlessly connect our reflections, keeping the entire session engaging and deeply interesting.